A Misrepresentation
by nikkiRA
Summary: Oneshot/ Looking into the lives of the REAL characters of Twilight, and damn, they are NOT happy...


**I read a fic a few years ago that did this for Harry Potter (although, with no negative effects) and I figured I'd do it for Twilight. I can't remember who wrote the fic, but just know that this is simply a result of his or her genius.

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With a growl, Edgar Corrigan threw the book onto the coffee table with such force that it broke apart (the table, not the book). Isabelle Corrigan, nee Strong, glanced up from where she was reading a book.

"Edgar, that's the fourth table this week, are you quite done?"

"I've finished! I've finished those godforsaken books, and I'm not happy, Izzy!"

"Well love, I told you not to read them."

"I thought you were exaggerating! I thought, well, it's based on us, it can't be too bad, can it?"

Izzy turned a page of her book. "Yes, it can."

"Apparently! I cannot believe it! Maybe we should sue."

"Edgar, we can't sue her."

"Why not?!"

Izzy had to put her book down. "What are we supposed to do? 'Yes, she based this off of us, we are actual vampires and we are very upset about this misrepresentation?' They'd throw us in the loony bin."

Edgar sat next to his wife, pouting. "I hate it. I hate how she portrayed me!"

"Half the world is in love with you, love."

"Yes, mindless teenage boppers! **(A/N- I'm not implying people who like Edward are mindless. I'm sure there are a lot of intelligent people out there who like him. I just haven't met any yet :])** What about the people whose opinions _count? _Like Stephen King! What will I do if I ever meet him?"

"Somehow I doubt you're going to be meeting Stephen King anytime soon, Ed."

"I never watched you sleep."

"I know."

"I didn't sneak into your room. I went in through the door like a civilized person."

"I know."

"I know _you _know, but what about the rest of the world?!"

"Edgar, you knew this would happen. When she told us she would out us if we didn't let her write a story off of us, you knew she would change things around."

"She made me _glitter, _Iz. Do you know how- how- _unmanly _that makes me seem?!"

"You're not a man, Edgar."

"I know! I'm a vampire! Vampires used to be icons of terror and horror. Now they're laughing stocks who _glitter _in the sun!"

Izzy shrugged and went to pick her book up again, however at that moment Jason Grey stormed in with Leslie Murkymud following behind him.

"We thought we heard yelling," Jason said. Leslie took a look at the broken coffee table and then at the book lying in the center.

"Ah. So you finished?"

Edgar, glad to have someone who would listen, turned to her. "Yes, I finished! It's an outrage!"

"At least she didn't make you into a bitter bitch nobody liked. I did _not _sit on my ass moping after Shawn the whole time!"

Jason wrapped an arm around her. "I guess she just didn't want to put the real story in."

Leslie looked at him. "What? All I did was smash his car. And then I got over it."

Jason smiled. She glared. "I don't know what you're laughing at, Mr. If- you- don't- kiss- me- I'll- kill- myself."

The smile was immediately wiped off his face. "I _never _said that and you know it!" Isabelle shook her head.

"I don't understand what you're all complaining about. I'm the worst off. I'm a whiny, seemingly flawless 'feminist' who crawls up into a ball for five months while her boyfriend is gone and acts out suicidal acts so I can hear his voice. So I don't want to hear _any _complaining!"

"I guess they didn't want to put the _real _story in, either," Jason smirked. Both Edgar and Leslie glared at the pair.

Suddenly, someone cleared their throat. Rebecca stalked out of her bedroom. She smiled widely at Jason, who smiled back, and then glared at her father.

"Do you know how loud you are? And I don't understand what you're all complaining about- she named me _Renesmee._ Plus, she implied that Jason and I would be in a _relationship. _That's disgusting. He's not even my species!"

Leslie smiled and scooted closer to Jason, whose arm tightened around her waist.

Izzy, who just wanted to get back to her book, sighed. "Look, there are a lot of things wrong with the books, okay? We all know that Edgar isn't a creeper, Leslie isn't a bitch, Jason isn't suicidal, Rebecca is not in love with him, and I am not a Mary Sue. We also know that Lily isn't a bitch either, that Ashley likes things other than shopping, and that Casper is not socially retarded."

"However, let it also be known that Emerson is a sex addict," Leslie said. They all nodded their approval.

"Now, can you _please _all leave so I can finish my book?"

They all nodded and dispersed. Finally, it was just Edgar and Izzy in the room.

He sighed. "What am I supposed to do now, Iz?" He asked her in despair. She looked at her husband with love and handed him a book.

"Read Harry Potter, love. It will make everything okay."

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**HP- 1. Twilight- 0. **

**Long live Potter.**


End file.
